Monday (boo) and it's raining (Boo) but that means it's not freezing (yay) and I get to come home on wed. (yay) which is wonderful.
The food (boo) is awful. Go figure.
The general consensus is that
"The food could be considered edible once you get past your gag reflex. And maybe your morals, too."
I can't wait to come home.
See you soon!
El
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
A brief bout of cynicism among other things.
So, I've been slightly remiss in updating this.
Everything that's been going on:
Well, not much of anything. My daily routine really hasn't changed overmuch. Wake up. Class. Repeat, lunch, barn, homework, sleep.
Repeat day.
Three weeks ago was mid-terms. I didn't actually have any mid-term tests though. Yay, me. That definitely worked in my favor!
Halloween was last friday, we had a party out at the barn. Joy.
Two weeks ago, tuesday there was a fire alarm. Two days before that, someone went through the dorm building next to mine with a fire extinguisher at 4:20 in the morning. The stuff in the thing set off the fire alarms, so most of my friends got a rude awakening.
I would laugh, but it was so cold that day that they decided to go back to sleep in everyone else's room.
That dorm building (bare) has the same front door lock as mine (fox). My mail box is in their dorm lobby, so we can all get into eachother's lobby.
Unfortunately they thought that waking ME up at 4:40 was a good idea.
:(
Not happy.
No joy.
But that's about the only real 'interesting' thing that happened at school.
Three weekends I went home with a friend of mine, Clarinda. It was... interesting.
She lives north-west, right at the boarder of indiana/ohio/michigan. We actually walked (it was still warm, then!!!) and stood at the 'place' where all three states meet. It's an interesting sensation.
Now I can say I was in multiple places at once, at least!
Real food.
Reallll foooood. I'd go home again with her in a heartbeat. :D There was homemade bread. I'm a sucker for real food, now.. Gasp.
And I ate stuff I didn't know exactly what it was, but it looked strange and there were *horror* touching food groups.
But I ate it and it was good. :D
Hello, real world.
This past week has been fairly uneventful.
We had snow last tuesday. I walked out of wellness at 8:20, and there's little hail/snow things. It was fun. And then on friday there was more snow. Same with this morning.
Over the weekend there was a fundraiser at the barn. "Jumper Jackpot" and "ride-a-buck". The jumper show I just watched, and took some pictures. It looked like a fun time, anyway.
"Ride a buck" was where you got sponsored and for every 25$ you were sponsered, you got a 'buck" (slip of paper). You could stick these pieces of paper anywhere as you rode (not in a pocket/boot, obviously, but like under your knee, thigh, ect) and whoever had a last 'buck' (they would drop as you fell) won.
Instead of riding, I helped with the teachers. We got some of our professors out and sponsored, so I led the horse as they rode. Oh my lord, it was more of a "student torture". We had to jog around and around and a round and hopped over little poles and little rail fences.
It was bad.
I think I was crazy for volunteering for that!!!
But that's what's been going on.
Now for this little breif bout of cynicism.
I walk back from the barn today and someone had shoved a little piece of paper under the door. It was the advertisement for a mardi gras party (?!?!??!). Whooo.
I tend to throw those things away. They just scream 'annoyance' to me.
But then the "1$ for women who come before 12, 2$ if ladies bring their college ID".
And right below that was 2$ margarita, 5$ for a pitcher of beer.
...Are you honestly doing that?
Gee.
Aren't we sending a not so subtle message.
Idiots.
So that's my little cynical moment! I laughed. Probably not a good thing to laugh at, but at least I'm laughing instead of trying to figure out how to get a fake ID?
Who knows.
Eagle's doing really well at the barn. He's not getting too frisky with the weather, which is a bit of a surprise, but it's really nice, too.
This week we're doing lunge lessons. considering Eagle isn't the best on the lunge line I'm working with a partner on a school horse. Meaning we lunge eachother. Yikes.
My partner is Mark, because we're sharing a saddle (his. REALLY nice saddle. I might have to run away with it.) and he and I are the only people remotely tall enough to work together. (he's taller than I am but I have longer legs.)
Our school horse is "Palmer", a big black percheron/clydesdale cross. He's a good guy.
But I'm going on a powertrip. :D Poor Mark today got stuck as the guinea pig. No reins and no stirrups, just a saddle.
And I'm the one with the lungeline and the lunge whip.
Cue the evil laugh..
Though what goes around comes around, and I rather suspect he's going to be paying me back for that tomorrow. He's already hinted at having a 'full lesson plan' scheduled.
Eugh.
Time to find something I've done for him in the past and drag that up into memory so he can't kill me.
It's been an interesting month since I last wrote, though. The leaves have changed colors and dropped, we've passed rain and gone into snow. Sadly, none of it's stuck yet.
Gas was, at one point, at 1.23$ a gallon. Now it's leveled off about 1.72$. But still. I like that price. :D
I have to admit, I cannot wait for thanksgiving! Last week I actually thought that this week was thanksgiving. ;_; Clarinda broke my heart when she pointed out that I had a week and a half, not half a week, to go.
Sigh.
I can't wait to see you all!!!
Love you!
El
Everything that's been going on:
Well, not much of anything. My daily routine really hasn't changed overmuch. Wake up. Class. Repeat, lunch, barn, homework, sleep.
Repeat day.
Three weeks ago was mid-terms. I didn't actually have any mid-term tests though. Yay, me. That definitely worked in my favor!
Halloween was last friday, we had a party out at the barn. Joy.
Two weeks ago, tuesday there was a fire alarm. Two days before that, someone went through the dorm building next to mine with a fire extinguisher at 4:20 in the morning. The stuff in the thing set off the fire alarms, so most of my friends got a rude awakening.
I would laugh, but it was so cold that day that they decided to go back to sleep in everyone else's room.
That dorm building (bare) has the same front door lock as mine (fox). My mail box is in their dorm lobby, so we can all get into eachother's lobby.
Unfortunately they thought that waking ME up at 4:40 was a good idea.
:(
Not happy.
No joy.
But that's about the only real 'interesting' thing that happened at school.
Three weekends I went home with a friend of mine, Clarinda. It was... interesting.
She lives north-west, right at the boarder of indiana/ohio/michigan. We actually walked (it was still warm, then!!!) and stood at the 'place' where all three states meet. It's an interesting sensation.
Now I can say I was in multiple places at once, at least!
Real food.
Reallll foooood. I'd go home again with her in a heartbeat. :D There was homemade bread. I'm a sucker for real food, now.. Gasp.
And I ate stuff I didn't know exactly what it was, but it looked strange and there were *horror* touching food groups.
But I ate it and it was good. :D
Hello, real world.
This past week has been fairly uneventful.
We had snow last tuesday. I walked out of wellness at 8:20, and there's little hail/snow things. It was fun. And then on friday there was more snow. Same with this morning.
Over the weekend there was a fundraiser at the barn. "Jumper Jackpot" and "ride-a-buck". The jumper show I just watched, and took some pictures. It looked like a fun time, anyway.
"Ride a buck" was where you got sponsored and for every 25$ you were sponsered, you got a 'buck" (slip of paper). You could stick these pieces of paper anywhere as you rode (not in a pocket/boot, obviously, but like under your knee, thigh, ect) and whoever had a last 'buck' (they would drop as you fell) won.
Instead of riding, I helped with the teachers. We got some of our professors out and sponsored, so I led the horse as they rode. Oh my lord, it was more of a "student torture". We had to jog around and around and a round and hopped over little poles and little rail fences.
It was bad.
I think I was crazy for volunteering for that!!!
But that's what's been going on.
Now for this little breif bout of cynicism.
I walk back from the barn today and someone had shoved a little piece of paper under the door. It was the advertisement for a mardi gras party (?!?!??!). Whooo.
I tend to throw those things away. They just scream 'annoyance' to me.
But then the "1$ for women who come before 12, 2$ if ladies bring their college ID".
And right below that was 2$ margarita, 5$ for a pitcher of beer.
...Are you honestly doing that?
Gee.
Aren't we sending a not so subtle message.
Idiots.
So that's my little cynical moment! I laughed. Probably not a good thing to laugh at, but at least I'm laughing instead of trying to figure out how to get a fake ID?
Who knows.
Eagle's doing really well at the barn. He's not getting too frisky with the weather, which is a bit of a surprise, but it's really nice, too.
This week we're doing lunge lessons. considering Eagle isn't the best on the lunge line I'm working with a partner on a school horse. Meaning we lunge eachother. Yikes.
My partner is Mark, because we're sharing a saddle (his. REALLY nice saddle. I might have to run away with it.) and he and I are the only people remotely tall enough to work together. (he's taller than I am but I have longer legs.)
Our school horse is "Palmer", a big black percheron/clydesdale cross. He's a good guy.
But I'm going on a powertrip. :D Poor Mark today got stuck as the guinea pig. No reins and no stirrups, just a saddle.
And I'm the one with the lungeline and the lunge whip.
Cue the evil laugh..
Though what goes around comes around, and I rather suspect he's going to be paying me back for that tomorrow. He's already hinted at having a 'full lesson plan' scheduled.
Eugh.
Time to find something I've done for him in the past and drag that up into memory so he can't kill me.
It's been an interesting month since I last wrote, though. The leaves have changed colors and dropped, we've passed rain and gone into snow. Sadly, none of it's stuck yet.
Gas was, at one point, at 1.23$ a gallon. Now it's leveled off about 1.72$. But still. I like that price. :D
I have to admit, I cannot wait for thanksgiving! Last week I actually thought that this week was thanksgiving. ;_; Clarinda broke my heart when she pointed out that I had a week and a half, not half a week, to go.
Sigh.
I can't wait to see you all!!!
Love you!
El
Monday, October 13, 2008
Newsflash!
Here's the incentive for keeping a dorm room clean.
There are random tours, and when your door is the first one off of the lobby, you will get asked if people can see the inside.
Note:
Thankfully, dormroom was clean. Cleaned after Allie left.
Erp.
Open the door and just see alllll of these people (a group of twenty in the hall). Blinkstare.
Um? Hi?
Right. So, that was strange. And my science class hasn't started yet. Apparently coming to class on time for Professors is never mandatory.
Bahumbug.
I'll get over it.
Oh, well.
It's monday. I'm grouchy. I really don't like mondays, never the less after four days of break. Not that I actually got much sleep over break (sleep : optional) but, still.
It's the thought that really counts, right??
xoxo
El
UPDATE:
Oh, no. Professors are here.
And are now passing out maps. Of the ocean floors.
Cartography & topography.
Um.
I spent a year doing this last year??
zzzzzz.
Sigh. Some days it doesn't pay to wake up. At least I followed everything in my math class??? Probability is my friend. Strange how that happens.
Life has a very, very ironic sense of humor.
I do not like it.
/epic fail.
Not a fan. Oh well.
There are random tours, and when your door is the first one off of the lobby, you will get asked if people can see the inside.
Note:
Thankfully, dormroom was clean. Cleaned after Allie left.
Erp.
Open the door and just see alllll of these people (a group of twenty in the hall). Blinkstare.
Um? Hi?
Right. So, that was strange. And my science class hasn't started yet. Apparently coming to class on time for Professors is never mandatory.
Bahumbug.
I'll get over it.
Oh, well.
It's monday. I'm grouchy. I really don't like mondays, never the less after four days of break. Not that I actually got much sleep over break (sleep : optional) but, still.
It's the thought that really counts, right??
xoxo
El
UPDATE:
Oh, no. Professors are here.
And are now passing out maps. Of the ocean floors.
Cartography & topography.
Um.
I spent a year doing this last year??
zzzzzz.
Sigh. Some days it doesn't pay to wake up. At least I followed everything in my math class??? Probability is my friend. Strange how that happens.
Life has a very, very ironic sense of humor.
I do not like it.
/epic fail.
Not a fan. Oh well.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The hardest part is goodbye
So this past week has been fun. I only had three days of classes, and then fall break. It was wonderful.
Thursday I spent most of my day at the barn. My instructor, Jill, rode Eagle thursday and saturday (and she'll ride him again tomorrow) and then yeah.
Friday, Allie Novak, one of my friends from DGN actually drove down from Grand Valley State University (right outside of Grand Rapids, Michigan) and stayed the weekend with Kristen and I.
I have to tell you, seeing her was amazing.
Friday we pretty much just watched movies and spent a majority of the time telling stories - and oh, the stories we both had to tell. She needed the time away from her roommate, and there was so much venting on that front. Yikes.
We went out into the dorm lobby and stayed there until (oops) three, just talking and telling stories.
Saturday, I slaved myself out to Jill in thanks for her schooling Eagle. Allie helped me, but mostly, we continued to talk. Boys were the conversation of that day, and I have to tell you - we've come to the depressing conclusion that:
There's no one we know that we'd date. Sigh. Oh, well. I'm over that part of it.
Allie and I went to a late lunch with Jamie Vincent and Kristie Easlie, both freshman varsity riders on our riding team. Jamie's a friend of mine - and the three of us went to walmart (she got her tongue pierced, so she had to buy soup. Ouch!) and then Panera. Kristie met up with us there, and we stayed there until five. I had no clue it was that late!
Coming back to the dorm, we pretty much just put some stuff away (three people in one dorm room seems to mean it explodes. Seriously.) Unsurprisingly that actually took two-ish hours, by which point we were hungry.
We went out to dinner.
Oh, dear god.
I do not realize how much I appreciate having parents with me when I go to a restauraunt. Seriously.
Me, being me - I get irritated. Me, being me? I'm a teenager. I can't help that I was born in 1990, not 1970. That doesn't mean I should get sub-par service, be treated condescendingly and be shorted in any other service.
Apparently, to the restauraunt, it meant Allie and I were supposed to.
I was livid. And the Waitress was utterly inhospitable, despite my best attempts to be friendly and engaging. It wasn't even a busy night, the two of us got tucked into a back corner in a booth that had ripped seats, weren't served the usual (No breads, ect), she didn't tell us the 'specials of the day' (Later had to ask) and service was just very slow, and very haughty about it.
Gjkd;afjd;.
Anger.
I'm still stewing about that. >[
Food, however, was good. Which made up for it, I suppose, but if I'm going out to dinner, I really expect to be treated as a human being, not the dredges of society. Drop the act, sure, I'm a teenager. I'm a college student, to be honest - but that doesn't mean I'm the one vandalizing things, driving around at four with my music blaring, or that I'm one of those people whose here in college just to party.
Yeah
Slightly angry about that.
Today, the three of us all woke up at the same time (9:20) and got ready for the barn, ect. Allie and I were there by 10:10, and I hopped on Eagle and rode him. First time since tuesday. I rode then, and we were doing pilates on horseback.
It hurt. And instead of using the muscles we were supposed to be using, I suspect I was using muscles in my back to cheat. So after the pilates, Eagle and I started really 'working', and then I wrenched something. Or.. something. It just all of the sudden hurt, and has hurt since.
Yay!
So Jill's been schooling Eagle (I tack him up, and tack up the other horses she has to ride that day as 'payment' - hey, it's better than cleaning stalls!) for me and she really enjoys the experience.
I got on him today though, and even though I was a bit of a hunch-back he was really good for the most part.
=)
But then Allie had to leave by 1 to get back to her campus (four hour drive) by dinner. So we came back and loaded up her car.
I'm struck by the realization that when I left college, I really didn't say goodbye to so many of my friends. It didn't seem to be as important as other things at that time.
She was one of the few who saw me the day before/day before that, I left. And it wasn't so intolerable then ( I remember hugging her at 2 in the morning - we had gone to see Batman, the late showing, and then jusdt talked..) but today, watching her drive out almost was harder.
I wouldn't trade this weekend though.
I needed time to just chill out, and laugh about people here, with someone who doesn't know them. It was refreshing.
More than that, it was fun.
Take care!
El
Thursday I spent most of my day at the barn. My instructor, Jill, rode Eagle thursday and saturday (and she'll ride him again tomorrow) and then yeah.
Friday, Allie Novak, one of my friends from DGN actually drove down from Grand Valley State University (right outside of Grand Rapids, Michigan) and stayed the weekend with Kristen and I.
I have to tell you, seeing her was amazing.
Friday we pretty much just watched movies and spent a majority of the time telling stories - and oh, the stories we both had to tell. She needed the time away from her roommate, and there was so much venting on that front. Yikes.
We went out into the dorm lobby and stayed there until (oops) three, just talking and telling stories.
Saturday, I slaved myself out to Jill in thanks for her schooling Eagle. Allie helped me, but mostly, we continued to talk. Boys were the conversation of that day, and I have to tell you - we've come to the depressing conclusion that:
There's no one we know that we'd date. Sigh. Oh, well. I'm over that part of it.
Allie and I went to a late lunch with Jamie Vincent and Kristie Easlie, both freshman varsity riders on our riding team. Jamie's a friend of mine - and the three of us went to walmart (she got her tongue pierced, so she had to buy soup. Ouch!) and then Panera. Kristie met up with us there, and we stayed there until five. I had no clue it was that late!
Coming back to the dorm, we pretty much just put some stuff away (three people in one dorm room seems to mean it explodes. Seriously.) Unsurprisingly that actually took two-ish hours, by which point we were hungry.
We went out to dinner.
Oh, dear god.
I do not realize how much I appreciate having parents with me when I go to a restauraunt. Seriously.
Me, being me - I get irritated. Me, being me? I'm a teenager. I can't help that I was born in 1990, not 1970. That doesn't mean I should get sub-par service, be treated condescendingly and be shorted in any other service.
Apparently, to the restauraunt, it meant Allie and I were supposed to.
I was livid. And the Waitress was utterly inhospitable, despite my best attempts to be friendly and engaging. It wasn't even a busy night, the two of us got tucked into a back corner in a booth that had ripped seats, weren't served the usual (No breads, ect), she didn't tell us the 'specials of the day' (Later had to ask) and service was just very slow, and very haughty about it.
Gjkd;afjd;.
Anger.
I'm still stewing about that. >[
Food, however, was good. Which made up for it, I suppose, but if I'm going out to dinner, I really expect to be treated as a human being, not the dredges of society. Drop the act, sure, I'm a teenager. I'm a college student, to be honest - but that doesn't mean I'm the one vandalizing things, driving around at four with my music blaring, or that I'm one of those people whose here in college just to party.
Yeah
Slightly angry about that.
Today, the three of us all woke up at the same time (9:20) and got ready for the barn, ect. Allie and I were there by 10:10, and I hopped on Eagle and rode him. First time since tuesday. I rode then, and we were doing pilates on horseback.
It hurt. And instead of using the muscles we were supposed to be using, I suspect I was using muscles in my back to cheat. So after the pilates, Eagle and I started really 'working', and then I wrenched something. Or.. something. It just all of the sudden hurt, and has hurt since.
Yay!
So Jill's been schooling Eagle (I tack him up, and tack up the other horses she has to ride that day as 'payment' - hey, it's better than cleaning stalls!) for me and she really enjoys the experience.
I got on him today though, and even though I was a bit of a hunch-back he was really good for the most part.
=)
But then Allie had to leave by 1 to get back to her campus (four hour drive) by dinner. So we came back and loaded up her car.
I'm struck by the realization that when I left college, I really didn't say goodbye to so many of my friends. It didn't seem to be as important as other things at that time.
She was one of the few who saw me the day before/day before that, I left. And it wasn't so intolerable then ( I remember hugging her at 2 in the morning - we had gone to see Batman, the late showing, and then jusdt talked..) but today, watching her drive out almost was harder.
I wouldn't trade this weekend though.
I needed time to just chill out, and laugh about people here, with someone who doesn't know them. It was refreshing.
More than that, it was fun.
Take care!
El
Friday, October 3, 2008
I run, to Feel
So, I've been a bit lax about updating this week. No clue why - maybe it's the feeling that fall is truly here? This entire week has been dreary. A high of sixty and rainy most of the time, it's chilly!
Fall is really, actually here. I've been layering shirts at the barn (we make some interesting fashion statements. There are the prima donnas who live to match and then those of us who believe that matching - matching socks, shirts, breeches, belts - are completely optional) and wearing sweatshirts around.
So far, no one's gotten sick. I hope it stays that way. After one experience with how illness spreads in a dorm (hehhh. Bad me. I started it..) I have no desire to encounter another.
However, in lieu of multiple entries this week, I can bring you one 'epic' one - with quite a few stories! It's really amazing how much stuff goes on, how entertaining it truly is when I look back at it. Sometimes it's not all grand to live, but looking back puts a better light on things.
First order of business:
I fell off.
Shush. I'm going to get calls, now, saying "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US EARLIER?" I'm playing the 'if I ignore it, it didn't happen.'
So.
No one can really blame me for that. It was stupid, really. It was Wed., and we were just riding around in the indoor arena. There were quite a few of us, and we were going over trot poles at both ends of the arena. Right now, I'm working on teaching Eagle that we don't have to charge things for it to be Okay, so he and I were trotting it while other people were cantering.
He was so good over the poles! SO GOOD! He was calm and relaxed, it was amazing. He was listening to me, so responsive, it was wonderful.
And then, came the fence.
..Oh, yes.
It could be said, simply put, that I trusted my horse too much. I thought he'd be as quiet over the fence, as he was over the poles.
That's the wonderful thing about horses.
They're never afraid to kill your ego.
:(
He overjumped the fence (a two foot vertical.) Somehow, he thought it turned into a 4'6 oxer with a three foot spread. Impressive fence, and I was told that "you caught some big air". Greaaat. Just what my (already) damaged ego needed to hear.
Thanks.
So I flipped over his shoulder. I landed on his neck after the fence, nearly got him to stop, but then! We had to turn.
As Dad can attest, the turns always kill me. I always come off in the corners. It's sad. So, I saw the turn coming, decided I'd choose how I'd fall (no falling into walls, thanksmuch) and rolled off his shoulder.
Landed rather wonderfully on my back (Yes, Mom, Dad, the same place as last time. Grr.) but Eagle just parked it the instant I came back. I held onto the reins until I hit the ground, when I let go, he backed up about two steps.
By that time, I had rolled to my knees (too many memories of horses bolting when riders come off) and he was just staring at me as if to say "So? What? Why are you down there?"
I got up, got back on, no problem. We trotted things again (no jumping) and he settled down.
My body, however, is (still) protesting the abuse.
Go figure.
This story, however, gets ever so much more interesting when one takes into account that when I came back to the dorm, we had no hot water.
None.
Zip. Nada. Zilch.
I was very, very unhappy.
There's a whole saga that continues with that, but it involves a guy that Meg likes (and I don't) but apparently he's hitting on me.
Great.
Needless to say, he offered his room (and consequently, Mark's- they're roommates) as a staging area. Said I should shower over in his dorm building.
I laughed.
Kristen (and Meg) did(do?) want to kill me for that one.
Not my fault!!!
Needless to say, at the barn, I've been trying out saddles. I'm looking for a 'brand' I like and a make that fits me. So far, no luck. Eva's saddle is pretty much the reason that I dieeeed on wed. If I had been in mine, I doubt I would have been jumped out of the tack. I love my flat seat!
Today, I rode in Jamie's 'second' saddle which is a beautiful thing. I would take it in a heartbeat if it had a more forward flap. Sadly, my knee hangs over the edge.
Big surprise.
Yesterday was our 'rein aids' assessment, which is stuff I already knew but I warmed up outside alone, because it's just that "I fell off my horse yesterday, I'm sore, my ego's in tatters, and I'm nervous". Either Eagle is feeling guilty, or I did something right - because he was a gem.
Again, it carried over today.
But, today, was amazing.
The other half of the students took their assessment in rein aids today so not many people were riding outside. Jamie, Meg and I were the three left outside at about four. It was getting darker, the wind was picking up and it was kind of drizzling. Very chilly, very unwelcoming - but for the first time in such a long time, I laughed as I rode.
I got on at about 3:20, hacked around, schooled eagle (for the most part, he was good.) I'm working on relaxing my arms so I don't HOLD on his face.
Think of it like a teenager. The more you try to forcibly drag them to do something (or drag them back) they'll pull against you. So the more I give with him, the better he is. It really, really works - but it's really hard breaking old habits.
Today, I rode in two point while I cantered. Apparently I sit very deep in the saddle and drive him more than he needs to, which annoys him.
So I thought I'd try it out, and lo and behold! He was amazing!
Jamie with Lou, though, I owe them so much. She's given me some comments that really made me think about my horse and my riding -and today, while she was cantering going right (Clockwise) and I was going left (counter) she's like, "Hey, El, wanna race?"
And so I just gave Eagle his head.
For the first time, I just let him go. Mind you, we didn't tear around and gallop, but we just WENT. And I forgot how much joy there was, in just feeling the wind kick against your eyes and bring tears, because it's so cold, and at the same time, feel so overheated, so exhilirated- so alive.
Sometimes I forget.
It's not about what you have to do, what needs to be done, lists, and rules.
It's about doing the thing you love, the way you love it.
It's about laughing, and living - and loving and learning along the way.
And today, I found that again. I'm really happy I did, because it reminded me all over again, why I love doing what I do.
Regardless of the bruises and the scrapes, the crappy feelings of "I can't do this", there's something there.
Yes, I can.
Not only that, but I have. And I will, again.
Fall is really, actually here. I've been layering shirts at the barn (we make some interesting fashion statements. There are the prima donnas who live to match and then those of us who believe that matching - matching socks, shirts, breeches, belts - are completely optional) and wearing sweatshirts around.
So far, no one's gotten sick. I hope it stays that way. After one experience with how illness spreads in a dorm (hehhh. Bad me. I started it..) I have no desire to encounter another.
However, in lieu of multiple entries this week, I can bring you one 'epic' one - with quite a few stories! It's really amazing how much stuff goes on, how entertaining it truly is when I look back at it. Sometimes it's not all grand to live, but looking back puts a better light on things.
First order of business:
I fell off.
Shush. I'm going to get calls, now, saying "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US EARLIER?" I'm playing the 'if I ignore it, it didn't happen.'
So.
No one can really blame me for that. It was stupid, really. It was Wed., and we were just riding around in the indoor arena. There were quite a few of us, and we were going over trot poles at both ends of the arena. Right now, I'm working on teaching Eagle that we don't have to charge things for it to be Okay, so he and I were trotting it while other people were cantering.
He was so good over the poles! SO GOOD! He was calm and relaxed, it was amazing. He was listening to me, so responsive, it was wonderful.
And then, came the fence.
..Oh, yes.
It could be said, simply put, that I trusted my horse too much. I thought he'd be as quiet over the fence, as he was over the poles.
That's the wonderful thing about horses.
They're never afraid to kill your ego.
:(
He overjumped the fence (a two foot vertical.) Somehow, he thought it turned into a 4'6 oxer with a three foot spread. Impressive fence, and I was told that "you caught some big air". Greaaat. Just what my (already) damaged ego needed to hear.
Thanks.
So I flipped over his shoulder. I landed on his neck after the fence, nearly got him to stop, but then! We had to turn.
As Dad can attest, the turns always kill me. I always come off in the corners. It's sad. So, I saw the turn coming, decided I'd choose how I'd fall (no falling into walls, thanksmuch) and rolled off his shoulder.
Landed rather wonderfully on my back (Yes, Mom, Dad, the same place as last time. Grr.) but Eagle just parked it the instant I came back. I held onto the reins until I hit the ground, when I let go, he backed up about two steps.
By that time, I had rolled to my knees (too many memories of horses bolting when riders come off) and he was just staring at me as if to say "So? What? Why are you down there?"
I got up, got back on, no problem. We trotted things again (no jumping) and he settled down.
My body, however, is (still) protesting the abuse.
Go figure.
This story, however, gets ever so much more interesting when one takes into account that when I came back to the dorm, we had no hot water.
None.
Zip. Nada. Zilch.
I was very, very unhappy.
There's a whole saga that continues with that, but it involves a guy that Meg likes (and I don't) but apparently he's hitting on me.
Great.
Needless to say, he offered his room (and consequently, Mark's- they're roommates) as a staging area. Said I should shower over in his dorm building.
I laughed.
Kristen (and Meg) did(do?) want to kill me for that one.
Not my fault!!!
Needless to say, at the barn, I've been trying out saddles. I'm looking for a 'brand' I like and a make that fits me. So far, no luck. Eva's saddle is pretty much the reason that I dieeeed on wed. If I had been in mine, I doubt I would have been jumped out of the tack. I love my flat seat!
Today, I rode in Jamie's 'second' saddle which is a beautiful thing. I would take it in a heartbeat if it had a more forward flap. Sadly, my knee hangs over the edge.
Big surprise.
Yesterday was our 'rein aids' assessment, which is stuff I already knew but I warmed up outside alone, because it's just that "I fell off my horse yesterday, I'm sore, my ego's in tatters, and I'm nervous". Either Eagle is feeling guilty, or I did something right - because he was a gem.
Again, it carried over today.
But, today, was amazing.
The other half of the students took their assessment in rein aids today so not many people were riding outside. Jamie, Meg and I were the three left outside at about four. It was getting darker, the wind was picking up and it was kind of drizzling. Very chilly, very unwelcoming - but for the first time in such a long time, I laughed as I rode.
I got on at about 3:20, hacked around, schooled eagle (for the most part, he was good.) I'm working on relaxing my arms so I don't HOLD on his face.
Think of it like a teenager. The more you try to forcibly drag them to do something (or drag them back) they'll pull against you. So the more I give with him, the better he is. It really, really works - but it's really hard breaking old habits.
Today, I rode in two point while I cantered. Apparently I sit very deep in the saddle and drive him more than he needs to, which annoys him.
So I thought I'd try it out, and lo and behold! He was amazing!
Jamie with Lou, though, I owe them so much. She's given me some comments that really made me think about my horse and my riding -and today, while she was cantering going right (Clockwise) and I was going left (counter) she's like, "Hey, El, wanna race?"
And so I just gave Eagle his head.
For the first time, I just let him go. Mind you, we didn't tear around and gallop, but we just WENT. And I forgot how much joy there was, in just feeling the wind kick against your eyes and bring tears, because it's so cold, and at the same time, feel so overheated, so exhilirated- so alive.
Sometimes I forget.
It's not about what you have to do, what needs to be done, lists, and rules.
It's about doing the thing you love, the way you love it.
It's about laughing, and living - and loving and learning along the way.
And today, I found that again. I'm really happy I did, because it reminded me all over again, why I love doing what I do.
Regardless of the bruises and the scrapes, the crappy feelings of "I can't do this", there's something there.
Yes, I can.
Not only that, but I have. And I will, again.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
And, I have this dream
So, today was freakin' amazing.
Class, I only have one english class today. I love thursdays. So I get to laze from 11-12 while Kristen's in her freshman experience class and then right after she gets back, we run to lunch and then the barn. We signed up for 1 o'clock jump setting (All of us had to sign up for something).
Needless to say, I raked up loose straw. Huge fun that.
About forty five minutes into it, I was summoned. One of the other students told me Sam was looking for draw-reins. I bolt up to the locker, get stuff, go to Eagle's stall, see Sam's assistant (Tonya) with Eagle.
I go :D :D :D
Because Sam is going to ride him and I can watch!
So, she rides him for about fifteen minutes while I watch, just talking me through what she's doing. Really, it was amazing to watch. He settled down, was long and low. She had the same 'troubles' with him that I did, but he was really a good boy for her.
While she was riding, my other instructor Jill, came out and was just watching. They then started arguing on who had more 'right' to ride him. Apparently he's been the talk of the instructors (dressage ones included) and some of the seniors. Yikes.
So I get on him (In Sam's realllllyyyy nice saddle) and she walks me through what she was doing with him. It's really interesting, but it really worked. Then she took us down in the field and we -gasp- trotted poles. And fences. Poles and fences are not my friend. Nor eagle's. We rush them. O_O
But today, it was amazing. She told me to think of melting into him to melt him into me. I kept saying "Marshmellow" over and over again. Thinking of s'mores and gooey goodness. Whatever it was, it worked. The thing that Sam brought up was keeping a picture in my head of it, seems to work with him. It 'works' with most horses, but with Eagle, the more you imagine him doing what you want him to do, the more he does it.
Self fulfilling prophecy. The more I think of him being bad, the more he is bad.
So we jumped, and we didn't rush fences and we came back after. I was really happy about it!
Sam's new thing is that "He's a horrible horse for you. You should sell him. To me." xD And, if not that, then I should quit and donate him because my heart is broken about the horse field and it's cynicism. And I can't stand to be around horses, thus, donating him. Rofl.
Apparently Eagle reminds her of her 'baby' at the barn, Cee Cee. Mom and Dad - you'll remember when the woman taking us on the tour doubled back to a horse saying "And, Sam's made him a part of the tour. Mandatory" and she liked Cee because he rats out riders when they're doing it wrong, ect?
Eagle is, apparently, Cee as of 10 years ago.
So Sam wants to ride Eagle every so often and work with me with him.
I'm really excited about it.
Things just keep falling into place with poneee. The road-block I felt that I've had, the rushing and running, the not coming back to me and ignoring me, is finally starting to feel as if it's disappearing.
I can't wait to see where this keeps going.
On a non-horse note!
Tonight was delegated to "Cleaning and laundry". Blah.
It did all get done, but our vacuum is being tempermental, so we didn't get to do that. The room looks nice again, though, and we have clean socks. always a must.
However, walking out into the parking lot to the dumpsters, there's a gazebo that I walk by. I was carrying out the trash first, and the cardboard would be the second trip. There were about ten football players hanging out there It was about 9:30, not too late, it was dark. And they're just talking and I hear "You have any beer?"
and I'm guessing that they're talking to someone else, so I just ignore it.
And then a "Well, I guess that's a no."
So, apparently they were talking to me.
Nice. Very attractive, idiots. Way to look like mindless fools. Beer! Gasp. Ugh, there has to be more to life than that.
And so I go back to the room, and Kristen's there, but Mark stopped by (his room got overrun by girls watching Grey's Anatomy) and I tell them the story, because frankly, it's a bit amusing but a bit eerie, too. Don't want to go back out alone. So, Mark being the (hahaha. Guy. He gets to carry the most stuff) guy, he gets to come with! Carrying out cardboard, ect, and so I walk by and the guys ask "Well, what about now?"
Mark, who is one of the nicest guys I know (with the typical snippy attitude of most gay ones) shoots back with a "Why do you think it'd change? Because she's got better company now? Lemme tell you, if she had any, there's better things to do with booze than waste it on a bunch of louts."
That made me laugh. xD
And they were just left going "....?"
So. That was my night. Except now it's fifteen to midnight and I want to sleep but the chicks across the hall won't shut the heck up, which is annoying BUT I GET TO SEE MOM AND DAD TOMORROW which is super exciting and I can't wait.
Love you all!
-El
Class, I only have one english class today. I love thursdays. So I get to laze from 11-12 while Kristen's in her freshman experience class and then right after she gets back, we run to lunch and then the barn. We signed up for 1 o'clock jump setting (All of us had to sign up for something).
Needless to say, I raked up loose straw. Huge fun that.
About forty five minutes into it, I was summoned. One of the other students told me Sam was looking for draw-reins. I bolt up to the locker, get stuff, go to Eagle's stall, see Sam's assistant (Tonya) with Eagle.
I go :D :D :D
Because Sam is going to ride him and I can watch!
So, she rides him for about fifteen minutes while I watch, just talking me through what she's doing. Really, it was amazing to watch. He settled down, was long and low. She had the same 'troubles' with him that I did, but he was really a good boy for her.
While she was riding, my other instructor Jill, came out and was just watching. They then started arguing on who had more 'right' to ride him. Apparently he's been the talk of the instructors (dressage ones included) and some of the seniors. Yikes.
So I get on him (In Sam's realllllyyyy nice saddle) and she walks me through what she was doing with him. It's really interesting, but it really worked. Then she took us down in the field and we -gasp- trotted poles. And fences. Poles and fences are not my friend. Nor eagle's. We rush them. O_O
But today, it was amazing. She told me to think of melting into him to melt him into me. I kept saying "Marshmellow" over and over again. Thinking of s'mores and gooey goodness. Whatever it was, it worked. The thing that Sam brought up was keeping a picture in my head of it, seems to work with him. It 'works' with most horses, but with Eagle, the more you imagine him doing what you want him to do, the more he does it.
Self fulfilling prophecy. The more I think of him being bad, the more he is bad.
So we jumped, and we didn't rush fences and we came back after. I was really happy about it!
Sam's new thing is that "He's a horrible horse for you. You should sell him. To me." xD And, if not that, then I should quit and donate him because my heart is broken about the horse field and it's cynicism. And I can't stand to be around horses, thus, donating him. Rofl.
Apparently Eagle reminds her of her 'baby' at the barn, Cee Cee. Mom and Dad - you'll remember when the woman taking us on the tour doubled back to a horse saying "And, Sam's made him a part of the tour. Mandatory" and she liked Cee because he rats out riders when they're doing it wrong, ect?
Eagle is, apparently, Cee as of 10 years ago.
So Sam wants to ride Eagle every so often and work with me with him.
I'm really excited about it.
Things just keep falling into place with poneee. The road-block I felt that I've had, the rushing and running, the not coming back to me and ignoring me, is finally starting to feel as if it's disappearing.
I can't wait to see where this keeps going.
On a non-horse note!
Tonight was delegated to "Cleaning and laundry". Blah.
It did all get done, but our vacuum is being tempermental, so we didn't get to do that. The room looks nice again, though, and we have clean socks. always a must.
However, walking out into the parking lot to the dumpsters, there's a gazebo that I walk by. I was carrying out the trash first, and the cardboard would be the second trip. There were about ten football players hanging out there It was about 9:30, not too late, it was dark. And they're just talking and I hear "You have any beer?"
and I'm guessing that they're talking to someone else, so I just ignore it.
And then a "Well, I guess that's a no."
So, apparently they were talking to me.
Nice. Very attractive, idiots. Way to look like mindless fools. Beer! Gasp. Ugh, there has to be more to life than that.
And so I go back to the room, and Kristen's there, but Mark stopped by (his room got overrun by girls watching Grey's Anatomy) and I tell them the story, because frankly, it's a bit amusing but a bit eerie, too. Don't want to go back out alone. So, Mark being the (hahaha. Guy. He gets to carry the most stuff) guy, he gets to come with! Carrying out cardboard, ect, and so I walk by and the guys ask "Well, what about now?"
Mark, who is one of the nicest guys I know (with the typical snippy attitude of most gay ones) shoots back with a "Why do you think it'd change? Because she's got better company now? Lemme tell you, if she had any, there's better things to do with booze than waste it on a bunch of louts."
That made me laugh. xD
And they were just left going "....?"
So. That was my night. Except now it's fifteen to midnight and I want to sleep but the chicks across the hall won't shut the heck up, which is annoying BUT I GET TO SEE MOM AND DAD TOMORROW which is super exciting and I can't wait.
Love you all!
-El
It turned into a Quiet Thought
So, I'm tired. I just want to sleep.
I'm sure everyone's had those moments?
Yesterday ended well, which is good. I needed that.
The barn was a bit of a frantic scrabble. I come at 1:40, they have a note saying all people signed up for the mini prix be out in the field at 2:15. Well, I'm not 'signed up', so, I don't go. Jill comes around and collects the rest of the group A riders (Me, Emily & Liz) and say "Well, I know it's almost 2:15, but go out anyway! Sam can work with you."
... Could you have told me this fifteen minutes ago? Please?
So we went out in the field. Emily and I warmed up on our own and Eagle was really good. He's so much better when I sit the trot, he doesn't get away from me. But when we started trotting fences (...Still doesn't do that, well) he lost his mind, poor guy.
Eventually Sam just told me "Scrape through the course" (Vertical to vertical to fake stone wall to big "OILER" vertical to liverpool to SCARY vertical to coup.) and do the best I could. Cantered it. Yay! We did better. And, my conclusion: When I jump 3'3 I stop worrying about the height "OHMYGODSCARY FENCE I AM GOING TO DIE" Happens around 2'9. When it gets bigger, I just start working on bringing Eagle back.
But, at the end of it, I was exhausted. Legs shaking, arms shaking, panting. It was fun.
And, Sam got on my horse!
Needless to say, my horse is no longer my horse.
Sam got on him after, because she wanted to "Get a better idea of what we're working with".
Hah.
Note, she also said "Well, we'll pull the senior off him. I'll ride him for you in the morning the rest of the week."
My horse is no longer my horse! =D
I'm entertained. She likes him. Go figure. So, poor Eagle. He's worked twice a day (Yay!) and by Sam (double Yay!)
So, I think that will help. He also got a bath after that (Unhappy guy). But. yeah. Barn was good yesterday.
There was a really nice dinner at the dining hall last night. Salmon, spiced chicken, there was a chocolate fountain.. I have no idea why it was there, but it was nice to eat chicken that wasn't horrible. (Dad? I miss your grilling.) Though I ate with some absolutely crazy people. Jill and Jamie (roommates), Hailee and Meg, Me, two other girls I don't know and a guy named Phil.
I was just sitting there astounded. They're so outrageous, it's hilarious.
Went back to the room, got homework done, showered, napped.
Mark and Kyle were switching rooms, they didn't tell us when. Kristen and I showed up at fifteen to nine, they're done. (Amazing timing. =) I so win.)
So we hang out there until midnight. We (Mark, Kristen and I) all studied Stats together. That was interesting. 'Met' Kyle (adorable) and am still confronted with the age old issue.
How can boys stand to have a room set to 60 degrees and not be freezing, I don't know. I got so chilled. (Stole Mark's sweatshirt. Now, when he'll get it back, is the real question. It's fuzzy! I'm so simply entertained.)
But Mark kicked Meg out at around 10:45. She was loud, hyper.. just 'Meg'. She calls at 11:30. "Where are you?"
..Uh. Still in his room? The key thought to this is that Kristen and I are both 'low key' people. Not high-drama, not high energy. I can be, particularly as it gets later, but I'm typically more quiet. Meg is not.
So when she calls, it's like... right. Nope. Gottagosorrybye.
And yet, she wanted me to help her with a paper.
Thanks for the heads-up??? That annoyed me.
But yeah. Last night was fun. Met more people, had a good time, it wasn't too outrageous. It was a good time.
So.
Yes.
I get to see Mom and Dad tomorrow, though!!! I'm so excited. =D
Love you!
-El
I'm sure everyone's had those moments?
Yesterday ended well, which is good. I needed that.
The barn was a bit of a frantic scrabble. I come at 1:40, they have a note saying all people signed up for the mini prix be out in the field at 2:15. Well, I'm not 'signed up', so, I don't go. Jill comes around and collects the rest of the group A riders (Me, Emily & Liz) and say "Well, I know it's almost 2:15, but go out anyway! Sam can work with you."
... Could you have told me this fifteen minutes ago? Please?
So we went out in the field. Emily and I warmed up on our own and Eagle was really good. He's so much better when I sit the trot, he doesn't get away from me. But when we started trotting fences (...Still doesn't do that, well) he lost his mind, poor guy.
Eventually Sam just told me "Scrape through the course" (Vertical to vertical to fake stone wall to big "OILER" vertical to liverpool to SCARY vertical to coup.) and do the best I could. Cantered it. Yay! We did better. And, my conclusion: When I jump 3'3 I stop worrying about the height "OHMYGODSCARY FENCE I AM GOING TO DIE" Happens around 2'9. When it gets bigger, I just start working on bringing Eagle back.
But, at the end of it, I was exhausted. Legs shaking, arms shaking, panting. It was fun.
And, Sam got on my horse!
Needless to say, my horse is no longer my horse.
Sam got on him after, because she wanted to "Get a better idea of what we're working with".
Hah.
Note, she also said "Well, we'll pull the senior off him. I'll ride him for you in the morning the rest of the week."
My horse is no longer my horse! =D
I'm entertained. She likes him. Go figure. So, poor Eagle. He's worked twice a day (Yay!) and by Sam (double Yay!)
So, I think that will help. He also got a bath after that (Unhappy guy). But. yeah. Barn was good yesterday.
There was a really nice dinner at the dining hall last night. Salmon, spiced chicken, there was a chocolate fountain.. I have no idea why it was there, but it was nice to eat chicken that wasn't horrible. (Dad? I miss your grilling.) Though I ate with some absolutely crazy people. Jill and Jamie (roommates), Hailee and Meg, Me, two other girls I don't know and a guy named Phil.
I was just sitting there astounded. They're so outrageous, it's hilarious.
Went back to the room, got homework done, showered, napped.
Mark and Kyle were switching rooms, they didn't tell us when. Kristen and I showed up at fifteen to nine, they're done. (Amazing timing. =) I so win.)
So we hang out there until midnight. We (Mark, Kristen and I) all studied Stats together. That was interesting. 'Met' Kyle (adorable) and am still confronted with the age old issue.
How can boys stand to have a room set to 60 degrees and not be freezing, I don't know. I got so chilled. (Stole Mark's sweatshirt. Now, when he'll get it back, is the real question. It's fuzzy! I'm so simply entertained.)
But Mark kicked Meg out at around 10:45. She was loud, hyper.. just 'Meg'. She calls at 11:30. "Where are you?"
..Uh. Still in his room? The key thought to this is that Kristen and I are both 'low key' people. Not high-drama, not high energy. I can be, particularly as it gets later, but I'm typically more quiet. Meg is not.
So when she calls, it's like... right. Nope. Gottagosorrybye.
And yet, she wanted me to help her with a paper.
Thanks for the heads-up??? That annoyed me.
But yeah. Last night was fun. Met more people, had a good time, it wasn't too outrageous. It was a good time.
So.
Yes.
I get to see Mom and Dad tomorrow, though!!! I'm so excited. =D
Love you!
-El
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)